Bettina responds to my post on Kissing via email:

This whole story once again made it very clear that your expectations are very elitarian, exclusive - that applies to grad-school selection as well as to your partnership ordeal - you have very specific, clear expectations of where you want to study and whom you want to fuck, you have a very specific and detailed picture of the society you want to live in, of the people you want to be around, even how those people “should” be like. On the other side, you give a shit of whether your shower curtain is moldy, or whether you eat crap all day long, you give a shit about the unnecessary details of life. It just doesn’t seem to fit together. At least to me, it doesn’t fit. In your set of mind, your life is elitarian and well-thought of, high-aimed, ideal on one side, and, in reality it is nothing like that. It’s all bubbly, and you’re coughing and biting fingernails. And, of course, are still waiting for the “look” to reoocur in your life.

I eagerly await the look. Everyone should.

The well thought world that I describe and aspire to does not mesh well with the day to day details of my life. So while I write and hope for this great love my shower curtain is covered in mold. I excessively chew my nails while dreaming and working towards acceptance at upper echelon graduate program. I cough. I dream.

Implicit in your argument for my incongruousness is that one who strives for perfection does so in all regards. Attaining perfection is not just a matter of overcoming the obstacles in your career or waiting for the perfect love, but it’s also keeping your house clean and organized and presenting oneself as nicely groomed and modish.

I categorically reject this argument. Those attaining internal perfection have neither the time nor the desire to perfect the minutiae of daily living. Good grief such things are so uninteresting. However, amongst a group of people I have noted that they have confused external presentation with internal self development. Those that present themselves with, shall we say external virtue, often times hoodwink others into thinking they have internal virtue. This almost entirely seems to be the point of devoting some much work and time to maintaining this external facade. These people aim to fool others into thinking they have internal virtue by demonstrating external virtue. This strategy works on many but not with those with confidence; that is those with high internal virtue.

Evidence for External Virtue Indicating Lack of Internal Virtue

I actually have empirical evidence to support this claim. My ex-friend Jeremy was the most fashionable and well-groomed friend I’ve had with the possible exception of Bettina. Jeremy had well manicured fingernails. They extend to the full length of the finger and were trimmed precisely in the half crescent shape to perfectly match the underlying shape of the fingertip. My fingernails are jagged and uneven. I use my teeth to rip them to shreds and then chew on the splinters for several hours afterwards. Sometimes I save them to continue chewing them the next day. In terms of external virtue Jeremy is handing me my ass.

Jeremy revels in the idea that he is a confident, deliberate, and wise. In other words, he likes to believe he has internal virtue. This is most obvious when he interacts with other people. He revels in being able to offer wisdom to those in trouble in the form of platitudes which he considers to be profound. He loves to be the strong confident person others come to for advice and solace. It his external virtue that provides him a steady stream of people accepting wisdom from him. Someone as well-kept as him must be wise or so the rationale goes.

It turns out though, that Jeremy has a profound deficit in internal virtue. There are countless stories demonstrating this fact, but i think his most recent behavior should suffice to prove the point.

Jeremy decided to move to Durham so that we could live as roommates. With his excellent serving skills he naively believed it would be easy finding a job at a first class restaurant in this area. After applying to only the four most prestigious restaurants and not being hired, he walled himself in his room and played World of Warcraft even though he lacked the money to pay rent. Obviously our friendship soured and I told him to get a job or move out. Rather than demonstrate some of that internal virtue he like others to believe he has, he choose to have his father pay for the cost of moving him back. A 30 year old man had has his father pay to move him back home so that he could continue to play a video game rather than get a job. Yeah, thats internal virtue.

Meanwhile, I have, some would say naively, applied to prestigious schools for over 5 years. I have been rejected well over 40 times. Yet, I have endured the adversity choosing to overcome the obstacles in my way. At no point did I call it quits, ignore the problem, and call in my father to bail me out of a problem I created for myself.

Asking the Question What is Virtue?

Jeremy is well-kept and keeps his apartment immaculate. I shave only once a week and my apartment is always in a disarray. I respond to failure by working to obtain the excellence needed to overcome the failure. Jeremy responds to failure by actively avoiding the problem until someone else manages it for him. It seems to me that the more virtuous you are externally the less virtuous you are internally. External virtue indicates a lack of internal virtue. For me, perfecting the self has very little to do with external virtue.

And so i put the question to you: is the virtuous man the one with perfectly manicured hands or the one with an indefatigable spirit?

I got to thinking about my first kiss. When I was a teenager a mutual attraction between me and a girl at worked transformed into an intense infatuation. At the time, and even now, I am a boy when it comes to initiating physical contact with a woman. Fortunately, she was a bit more experienced and initiated the kiss.

I had no car so she would happily give me a ride home after work and when got to my house we would walk to a nearby playground and talk. We had been doing this for several months getting progressively closer to each other and then on some random weekday, as we stood holding each other over a bridge, she extended her neck opened her mouth and began to kiss me. Timidly I met her halfway.

Wow. Amazing. One of, if not, the greatest sensual feeling of my life. Profound. Magical.

That next day I saw one of my friends and he instantly knew that we had kissed for the first time. He said it was obvious because of how much I was glowing. It was impossible for me to contain my smile.

The thing is, once you kiss someone you are deeply infatuated with, you become addicted to kissing. You want to kiss them all the time. The Saturday after we kissed for the first time me and her both worked the morning shift and were off by mid-afternoon. We headed to her car with the pretext of giving me a ride home, but in truth, the car didn’t go anywhere.

I can say without hesitation this was the greatest make out session of my life. We started kissing at about three and when we finished several minutes later the streets lights were on and it was well past six o’clock. We spent three hours kissing, but it’s no exaggeration to say that it felt like a couple of minutes. I will always remember how astonished I was at how fast time passed by. Time has never passed by quicker.

Connecting

The intensity and pleasure of kissing this girl had everything to do with feeling like I connected with her on an emotional and confidence level. I say confidence because one of my most important values is the ability to size people up quickly and efficiently upon meeting them. To be able to easily judge without the crippling fear of offending requires confidence, but also indicates a willingness to think about those other than yourself. This capacity leads to what I call the look. When somebody says or does something that has a more meaningful, if not harsher, implicit secondary meaning a confident person will look for others in the room that perceive this secondary meaning. Only confident people will see this secondary meaning because it requires a critical revaluation of what this person says which if verbalized will upset the person. Upsetting others is the work of the confident person.

This girl had the look. We perceived the same secondary meanings in what others said, and we had the same level of confidence to see and call others on those meanings. Using the look to communicate our shared reality is the most profound way one person can communicate with another. I have kissed and been more physical with other girls, but the connection with this girl made the intimate moments with her the most pleasurable experience of my life.

There have only been two girls I have shared this look with. The look was lost with one of them but remains with the other. You know who you are.

Bipartisan support for trampling the first amendment to protect the children. It like trampling the second amendment to insure children are not killed by gun violence. Just like it, except it does not enjoy bipartisan support.

Seriously though, why should this kind of thing be regulated at the federal level. Why not lets theses issues resolves themselves with more local government. Ever since its inception this country has been trending towards a large massive federal government. I can’t see any good reason for why this should be. Keep laws and regulations as local as possible to insure maximum efficiency.

This new poll shows that muslim for extreme islamic action is declining. One explanation given in the article, by the AP, of all sources states:

The 95-page survey found that surging economic growth in many developing countries has encouraged people in these countries to express satisfaction with their personal lives, family income and national conditions, said Andrew Kohut, the center’s director.

I’m shocked. Just shocked to discover that people that have things good are less likely to strap on dynamite and blow themselves up in the market. This almost reminds me of that one rationale for the Iraq war: establish a democarcy to bring free markets and reform to the region. This might be evidence such a strategy might work.

Traffic violations as a revenue stream is dumb and serves as yet another reminder of how the state has coercive power.

Here is an awesome panoramic view of San Francisco in 1971 from the Bay Bridge. Hey dad, if you scroll half way through the scene you can find that parking lot you parked in when you visited the city.

Via Instapundit, the NYtimes has an article on the French attitudes changing in favor of capitalism. Of particular interest is how the French seem more inclined to think wealth acquisition is more likely to occur through random luck rather than earning it.

Still, the French seem to be divided about the best way to get rich. On Thursday, a widely reported TNS-Sofres poll of more than 1,000 people concluded that 39 percent of the French think that it is possible to get rich by winning the lottery; only 40 percent believe that getting rich can happen through work.

This survey tells you who to vote for once you fill in the required information. Do the survey and post your results in the comments section. The survey indicated i should vote for Giuliani. I already knew that.

This man had a problem such that the fluid in his brain was not draining properly. Check out what his brain looks like after years of this fluid accumulating.

Here you go, friend.